No more Snorting wine with a straw!

The headline read, "Twenty-One things we are learning to live without."

The article was obviously recession inspired. And, I'll admit; I was interested to see just how bad it had gotten for me. Was I living in a recession or was I wallowing in a depression?

I knew what all the "talking heads" thought, but here's the deal with those pie holes: They are still making the big bucks, with corporate health plans and big fat 401K plans.

And me? Well, not so much. I was not only missing all of the above; I was currently working for what I used to consider chump change.

It didn't take long to realize I'd have to change my drinking habits - gasp, choke!

Actually, that is a lie.

It took me far longer than was economically prudent. But then I think words like prudent, practical, and sober are words that apply to other people.

But it is tough to justify a forty dollar bottle of wine, especially when you practically snort it with a straw.

Why, oh why, did I have to get hooked on the "good stuff," when all along I could have been a Jack and Diet kind of gal?

So here it is... The first item noted on the list of things given up during these lean, and I use this term loosely, times, is Lattes.
Yeah, the old trip to Four bucks has taken a dive. More people are brewing their Joe at home. OK, I will give them that. But I think the real reason the coffee house numbers are down is that people are just sleeping in.

Why get all busy in the morning with no place to go?

The next item listed is extra calories. Now, hold up there, little buddy. Just who is giving up the extra calories?

My feelings and personal motto: When the times get tough, well, the chubbiest tend to get a bit chubbier.

Seriously, who eats less in times of economic stress? Recession-inspired pounds are a real thing.

This is how it works. I used to go to the grocery store and stock up on fresh veggies and lean meats.
But hey, that is pricey stuff. Hard to stay on your old wine budget, or any budget, when you're spending six bucks for fresh asparagus, right?

Giving up the "good stuff" (read: wine that can be swallowed without holding your breath) is tough when you're spending so much on healthy vittles.

But, and this is a tremendous butt I am working with here, friends; if you re-direct your grocery dollars and spend more wisely, your entertainment dollars will go much further. You'd be surprised at how many bags of Cheetos you can buy if you pass on the triple washed spinach and watercress.

The next item listed (drum roll please), was the gym. Hello, people! Just because I had given up the gym membership prior to this current economic meltdown does not mean I shouldn't get credit for proactive thinking, right? After almost two years to the day of paying the membership fee, yet never crossing the threshold, I came to my senses over a bag of frozen Cameo cookies. I spouted to all who would listen, "That's it! Don't you people know there's a possible recession lurking? We gotta hunker down, take cover. Cancel this costly gym membership."

So here I was scanning this list of 21 things I should have given up to ease into this bleak financial situation, and I found myself feeling pretty darn good.

I had already been doing my part. I had even given up things the article never mentioned.

For instance, I no longer use valet, unless it is raining. I now go 4.5 weeks between hair color appointments instead of four. I clip wine coupons. And before you start, there is no shame in using a coupon for wine or spirits. It's not like I'm hauling out my coupon wallet in the grocery store line, heaven forbid.

I no longer use curb side pick-up at my local OutBack. I recognized how much gas I was wasting, just idling, so now I park and walk inside.

Annoying yes, but the exercise is good for me.

So it is official now. I get it.

When they say, "Change is a coming," I can let them know I am doing my part.
Hey, I even undressed in the dark last night in honor of Earth Day.