Make mine goopy.

"Get me something really goopy," I instructed my daughter. "Think about what you would order if you were on a diet and then do the exact opposite."

If you're wondering, "What the heck is goopy?" It's anything you shouldn't be eating, but are going to anyway. Oh, and with real, true goopy, you eat it all. In other words, you can't be some dainty little skinny thing and have eaten two cookies and called that goopy. Nope, real goopy eaters have killed for less and always finish the full sleeve.

This food group offers a sugar filled high and toe curling sensation. Like when you drive by the local Krispy Kreme and the "Hot Donuts Now" sign is flashing, and you weave through three lanes of traffic crashing your car, all in your quest to, "Get you some."

Usually, women understand this concept better than men. I have tested this theory on my hubby. He was making the grocery run and, I told him, "Get me something good, something - you know, goopy." He offered a blank stare and said, "Ok, but what is goopy?" Irritated that I have been married to this guy for two decades and he still has to ask me what goopy means, I said, "I think you know exactly what it is, so don't pretend you don't know and make me say it." "SOMETHING GOOD," I bellowed, "good and goopy."

He came back with fresh Florida oranges, crackers, cheddar cheese and a single hersey bar. I spit on the oranges and crushed the box of crackers. Grabbing the Hersey bar and shaking it in the air I cried, "This is it? I asked for goopy, and you brought home a single serving chocolate bar"? Some men, they just don't get goopy at all.