Search This Blog


I'll tell you when to get happy.

Tell me this, why is it that people that are too happy just get me in a bad mood? I mean, what is wrong with me? I get so bugged when people get all happy and excited over something stupid, or something I think is stupid, which is just about anything that everyone else thinks is funny. I am sitting there watching TV this morning and that dumb egg commercial comes on where Kashi has substituted their cereal in the carton, instead of eggs. People are opening the cartons of eggs in the grocery store and they are all happy, laughing because the eggs are missing and instead little mounds of sticky cereal have taken their place.

They are looking around, pointing to the egg carton, as if to say, “Oh, look, isn’t this hilarious, the eggs are all gone”. Yeah, that is funny, cereal instead of eggs. I am just laughing my ass of here. Not. Am I the only person that would say, “Where are my effing eggs”? I can just see myself, barely smiling and hardly tolerant. I don’t really like being tricked and falling in beside all of humanity is not appealing to me.! It is even worse for me in a group setting. I just hate to get all happy with everyone else. I like to reserve the right to get happy, if, and when I feel like it, not because all the people around me think something is funny. I have noticed that with some, it is just so easy for them to show their pleasure. Someone does something dumb and people get all happy, they get to all be part of this group- this big, dumb, happy group that thinks, “Oh, that is so cute, so funny.” I want to tell them, “”. Quit getting all happy. You are getting me violent. So, what is wrong with me? Go ahead, you can tell me, I can take it, really! Oh, and by the way, I know it is me, not you. I know this because I look around and I see happy people and I wonder to myself, “What are you so happy freaking happy about?” Now, that is not to say I don’t get happy, because I do. I am just not going to use up all my “happy” faces looking into a carton of eggs. When I think it is appropriate to get happy, believe me I do. But I am careful to never get too happy or to let anyone see me get too happy. Except for maybe on my birthday, I think that is a day where it is just fine to get all stupid happy. In fact, when I call to wish someone a happy birthday, I love to tell em’, “Go ahead, get all happy, today is your birthday”. But you better wipe that smile off our face by tomorrow. There is no “happy birthday” carry over. Gotta get right back into the, “I’m not that happy” business.


You kahnt git theyah from heayah! (And that folks, is Lobstah talk)

Remember the movie Sideways? Well, this is not the wine from that movie. This is the wine from that "other"  movie, Bottle Shock. The one with a ridiculously good looking cast, as opposed to Paul Giamatti, whom we can all attest to being a bit less than good looking. Anyhow, back to the wine and the movie. Never mind that the movie focused on a Chardonnay, rather than a Cabernet, that in my opinion is simply a technicality. What's really important is that we found this phenomenal wine in a cute little "wanna be" wine store in Southwest Harbour Maine. I was just in the middle of throwing one of my now infamous wine rants to anyone that was willing to listen, when suddenly, right before my eyes were the words, "Wine sold here".

Figuring it was a sign from above, I yelled, "stop the cah".  And inside was the most unusual and glorious assortment of wines we'd ever gotten our grubby little paws on. I turned to my hubby and declared in my best Mainah dialect, "Ayah, Fathah, we've arrived".  And there it was, down almost at floor level,  several bottles of Chateau Montelena, 2005, Cabernet. Of course, having seen the movie Bottle Shock, both hubby and I almost became giddy. And believe me folks, giddy, is not something the good folks in Maine understand. No sir, In the state of Maine, acting giddy can get you put in the "big house", these are a conservative group here. Giddy soon became a serious understatement to our condition when we spyed a bottle of Spottswood Cab, 1998. Because the price of the Spottswood (be still my heart) was double the price of the Chateau, it was time for some tough decision making. I consulted with self and asked, "What would you prefer, two bottles of what is sure to be a fabulous wine, or one bottle of what is sure to make you take off all your clothes? Now, self, having been present for my most recent, soon to be epic lobstah eating marathon, felt it was only prudent to keep the clothes on and go for the two in lieu of one scenario, and so I did.  And here ladies and gents, is the rest of the story...

Cabernet Sauvignon. Napa Valley
 $$$- $65

Don't go into sticker shock with the price on this wine, it is worth every penny.  And besides, I never promised you a rose garden.  Life is just too short for bad wine, so save this bottle for a special occasion or drink like I would on any Monday night.  It is time to take the plastic wrap off your sofas people and use your crap.  Now, with that said (so eloquently too) this is a wonderful, full bodied, dark and powerful wine that grabs you the minute it hits your palate. Hello people, are you paying attention?  This is luscious and rich with a great sexy depth. Think Joanie from Madmen in her red dress and now you are just beginning to get this fabulous wine. And the fun is just starting.  This wine is well balanced, with just the right amount of fruit forward, followed with a long slow french-kiss finish.  Make your next bottle (if you can find it- as I have never seen it in the South) a special occasion and skip the dinner, and slip right between the sheets.  You will not be disappointed- the wine that is!