I'll tell you when to get happy.

Tell me this, why is it that people that are too happy just get me in a bad mood? I mean, what is wrong with me? I get so bugged when people get all happy and excited over something stupid, or something I think is stupid, which is just about anything that everyone else thinks is funny. I am sitting there watching TV this morning and that dumb egg commercial comes on where Kashi has substituted their cereal in the carton, instead of eggs. People are opening the cartons of eggs in the grocery store and they are all happy, laughing because the eggs are missing and instead little mounds of sticky cereal have taken their place.


They are looking around, pointing to the egg carton, as if to say, “Oh, look, isn’t this hilarious, the eggs are all gone”. Yeah, that is funny, cereal instead of eggs. I am just laughing my ass of here. Not. Am I the only person that would say, “Where are my effing eggs”? I can just see myself, barely smiling and hardly tolerant. I don’t really like being tricked and falling in beside all of humanity is not appealing to me. Give.me.my.effing.eggs.now! It is even worse for me in a group setting. I just hate to get all happy with everyone else. I like to reserve the right to get happy, if, and when I feel like it, not because all the people around me think something is funny. I have noticed that with some, it is just so easy for them to show their pleasure. Someone does something dumb and people get all happy, they get to all be part of this group- this big, dumb, happy group that thinks, “Oh, that is so cute, so funny.” I want to tell them, “No.it.is.not.cute.it.is.stupid”. Quit getting all happy. You are getting me violent. So, what is wrong with me? Go ahead, you can tell me, I can take it, really! Oh, and by the way, I know it is me, not you. I know this because I look around and I see happy people and I wonder to myself, “What are you so happy freaking happy about?” Now, that is not to say I don’t get happy, because I do. I am just not going to use up all my “happy” faces looking into a carton of eggs. When I think it is appropriate to get happy, believe me I do. But I am careful to never get too happy or to let anyone see me get too happy. Except for maybe on my birthday, I think that is a day where it is just fine to get all stupid happy. In fact, when I call to wish someone a happy birthday, I love to tell em’, “Go ahead, get all happy, today is your birthday”. But you better wipe that smile off our face by tomorrow. There is no “happy birthday” carry over. Gotta get right back into the, “I’m not that happy” business.