Rest in Peace...

Aw...come on! I loved this magazine. It offered so many great ideas that anyone could do.

Life Complicated

I was thinking that in my next career I'd like to be a barrista. Although I am concerned that it looks pretty hard. People are always yelling out their names and orders and sometimes they are so complicated; 3 splenda, 1/2 soy, 1/3 organic hold the whip. On second thought, maybe not. I have decided to give up anything too complicated for Lent. Is that bad or sacrilegious? Somehow, I don't think the Big Guy would take this proclamation too seriously. I mean He knows me really well, he knows I am only joking about the Lent deal and that I am going to do something really BIG for Lent, like help solve the financial crisis in our global economy... But wait just a minute, aren't we (this is addressed to all you Catholics out there) supposed to give something up for Lent, something we dearly love, something that we'd find to be a huge sacrifice? Man, this whole "life" thing is getting really hard, first having to give up the idea of being a barrista and now a Lenten fiasco... I could give up wine, but that is a crazy idea. I mean giving up wine will not make me a better person. I could give up my medications that make life rosier, but than I don't take anything, so I would just be giving up the idea of going to get something to make me better... I picture myself walking into Walgreen's and telling the pharmacist, "I am here to pick up my prescription" and the pharmacist would say, "we don't have anything under your name" and than I'd give him my neighbors name, my kids teachers name, the weirdest person I know names, all in hope of striking it rich. So then I'd walk over to the Lotto line and pull my last one dollar bill out of my skinny little wallet and I'd try my luck at solving the financial crisis in my own family.

Go Orange!

So, in my everlasting quest to someday be happy with my body- ha, I know shocking, I picked up a copy of Self magazine. On the cover it said, that "now is the time to take control of your body". I thought, why not now? Since every other aspect of my life is in chaos, maybe the fates are aligned and now for the first time in 35 plus years (yeah, I know, but I wasn't always a fat kid) I could do it.
I started with the recipe section, again, I know what you are thinking, but wait! While my thinking may be flawed, I thought that if I could find interesting, healthy recipes that I, as a cooking novice could master, maybe that would make a difference.
Well instead I opened to the perils of eating and cooking chicken-ugh! The article basically said that you are taking such a huge risk eating chicken that you might as well drink two bottles of wine and take a walk on 1-4 dressed all in black, at midnight. Now, I don't have any problem with drinking my share of wine, even at midnight and the wearing of all black, well refer back up to my 35 year plus battle mentioned above and you get the picture, but walking on 1-4? Are you crazy? I seldom even drive 1-4 anymore! No, I am not nuts. I have cleaned out my refridge and freezer of those offensive, once cute, fuzzy little chicks and decided I may die of a coronary, but I absolutley refuse to die from salmonella. My most recent trip to Publix found me with the latest copy of a juicy tabloid magazine, yeah, forget about magazines that make you THINK good, I want something that makes me FEEL good and a big bag of ORANGE...lest you think I have totally lost my mind in the produce isle...cheetos are people pleasers too and they are orange.

A glimpse inside...

Well, I finally did it. First it was Facebook and now a blog. I wonder who will read my blogs, or if anyone will? I am worried I won't have anything interesting to say and I will have to resort to fiction...What is it I find so fascinating in others' blogs? I think it is that glimpse into their lives, where I live vicariously through their words, picturing myself the reader as the writer, I actually see myself doing the things I am reading about, experiencing the writers trials and tribulations, wondering how I got there- so intimately involved.
So, now it is my turn to expose you to the "soft-under belly" of my simple, non-extraordinary life, luring you in with the minutiae and leaving you hanging, waiting for the next post. Can I do it? It is doubtful. But just maybe, for a moment or two, you will find yourself living through my stories and hoping for more!