The Ped Egg Experience

Recently I found myself out shopping with my sister. She was looking for new bedding for her room. So, we made the usual stops, TJMax's, Tuesday Morning, etc. She kept complaining, "let's just go to Dillard's". Dillard's! I exclaimed, "nobody goes to Dillard's for bedding". "They don't, she countered, why not"? "Well, Dillard's is just so middle of the road, trust me, you will pay a fortune and only get middle America". "And you my sissy, are not middle America, not while you are with me". "No... with me, you are scraping the bottom of the barrel America, so get used to it". While we were at Tuesday Morning we got yelled out. I was on my hands and knees digging for a second set of sheets to match the 620 thread count Italian blend sheets we'd finally settled on when I hear this bored, nasal voice coming from the register, "Please don't open the sheet packages". I looked up at my sister, now frozen in place, with her hand half way into a package, when she replied, "well how are we going to know if we like the sheets, if we can't feel them"? The cashier had by now put down the bag of Frito's she was working on and after wiping her hands on her sizable jeans she wiggled her fingers towards us, as if to say, "hand them over". "We can open them much better than you can, we do a better job and it will be..well better". In that split second, my sister pulled her hand out of the package she'd recently invaded and turned to me and said, "let's go, I am all done with Tuesday Morning". I slowly pulled myself up and looked at my sister and she had this look and right then I knew it was over for the Italian sheets- Chow baby! Off to the next stop, Bed Bath and Beyond your wildest imagination. There we not only found the sheets, pillows and euro inserts but, I also found the Ped-Egg. Who knew the ped egg doesn't take batteries? Not me. My sister told me, "Oooo, you have to have a ped-egg". I was thinking, for $10 bucks, nah. I'd rather spend my $10 bucks on two days of Chi Lattes at 4bucks, but she insisted. So now I have a ped-egg. The experience of using the ped egg is well, just so "manual". There are no batteries, you just shovel the egg back and forth- scraping your hoofs. It claims to be so gentle, it can't pop a balloon. Two seconds into my egg experience, I cut my finger. I should have bought the Sham-Wow.