No Soup for you!

Having recently achieved the status of a "stay at home mom", I have really tried to start to do the things that "other women", reads, (did not leave their families to fend for themselves for 15 years, while they went out to knock the corporate world dead and earn heaps of money, of which they currently have none) do when faced with 8-10 hours of the day, all alone. I still feel a little creepy in my house-alone during the day. When someone comes to the door, I immediately assume it is the pre-cursor to a home invasion...
So, back to the whole Betty Crocker thing, first off I want to say, I am certain that Betty Crocker was a fictional character, I know this because there is just no way you have time to clean the house, do the laundry AND bake a cake, just when would you have the time- in between all the fabulous re-runs of The Real House Wife's on Bravo?
But I have never been one to rest on my laurels, so try I do... Yesterday I decided to make cauliflower soup. Ask why, and I'd tell you that is an excellent question, but when my cousin sent me the recipe and she said it only looked complicated, but was really easy, I thought, "I'll do it", my first mistake!
Fast forward to me having been in the kitchen for like already way too long and it is time to put the multiple ingredients that have now been chopped, diced, blanched, sauteed and just about anything else you can do to veggies and still call them nutritional into the food processor. Now I have had this food processor for about 10 years and my kids walk in and say, "Wow, Mom, where did that come from"? I'm a little annoyed, but I reply, "It's a food processor you under exposed children, it will take all this crap and puree it for soup". My son added, "you mean so that our dinner is mush"? "Yeah, son, YOUR dinner will be mush" I responded. I proceeded to pour the stuff into the food processor, and I have to say, it was a mess. When I pushed the pulse button, liquid flew up out of the mixer all over the counter and floor, which was already wet and sticky from the club soda that had exploded when I opened it earlier,(another story). My son said, "Umm Mom, I don't think that is how it is supposed to work". I looked up at him over my glasses that had now slipped down my nose and said, " liked you'd know and what are you doing here, aren't you supposed to be renewing your driver's license, so that they don't haul you away"? By now, I am totally regretting this endeavor and Chinese food take out is sounding really good. My daughter, deciding it is time to rescue me comes over and says to me, "there shouldn't be a hole in the center of the food processor, everything is escaping out". I looked at her and attempting a kind tone say, "it is just like a bunt cake honey, they have holes", "Yeah, she replied, I know, but there still shouldn't be a hole in the center and the food isn't even getting mashed up". And another thing, she added, "why is this thing", she pointed to the blade laying on the counter, "not INSIDE of the processor"? I looked down at the counter top and saw the blade-thingy laying there and looked around my kitchen, where I had every stock pot I owned out (3) along with two mixing bowls and numerous other cooking apparatus' and thought, "why do I try so hard"? I moved across the kitchen, my feet making sticking noises on the tile and recovered the blade and calmly poured the mess inside the mixer into yet another large bowl and placed the blade in the processor and thought to myself, there must be something "bad wrong" with me not to have realized the hole wasn't natural- it just wasn't designed to work that way. Now, I will admit that when I first started to pour the ingredients into the food processor, I thought, this is so weird because you have to be really careful to not allow the food to get into the middle hole and I thought to myself, "what faulty design"! So, in the end, we had our cauliflower soup for dinner and it was pretty good, although my son sat there with his bowl and passing his spoon through the soup, asked me, "is there any meat in this stuff"?