Eat this instead!

Now that I have joined the ranks of the under worked, under compensated and I am not really a republican group... I find I have much more time on my hands to watch, gulp... TV! I know, it is so not politically cool for me to admit to any of this, but we are all friends, right? I mean, I keep your secrets, you keep mine? So, now that we have that out in the open, let's go back to the TV issue. The three of you that follow my blog know that I blog a bit about TV shows and diets, right? But who knew what I am about to tell you? Well, actually everyone that's been watching Matt (I've fallen and can't get up) Lauer and the fabulous Meredith (I got a job after 50) Vieira, probably knows about this, but the Today show has been showing what foods to eat and which to avoid. So here it is America, the worst fast food in One Nation Under God, Carl's Jr. Double Six Dollar Burger with Natural cut fries... it packs a whopping 2600 plus calories and 144 grams of fat! And for those of you that don't know, that is equal to a baker’s dozen Krispy Kreme glazed (be still my heart) donuts! You think that is shocking? I am still trying to figure out how to divide those 2600 calories into 13 donuts... And what this means to the future success of this franchise. But you know, Krispy Kreme is an old pal of mine and I hate to let my friends down, but this will require some serious consideration from me, as I am sure too, that Ol' Paris Hilton is flying around in some private jet nibbling strictly on carrots and celery since hearing the news about her old friend Carl. Maybe Paris and I do have something in common; maybe we both lost a good friend today!

Unleashing our inner Skinny

OK. I am going to come clean about something... I will admit that I am hooked on the Real House Wife's of NY. What is the freaking attraction, you ask? I think it is their ability to be publicly humiliated AND still make money! So, I have decided that I am up for a little public humiliation, in exchange for a little money! Thinking about The Biggest Loser... Yeah. No. Now that is a humbling show. I mean, as if it is not bad enough that they put your weight on a spinner and where it lands...nobody knows, but they make them wear outfits that are just wrong- for anyone! Wonder why the Real Housewife's' producers haven't come up with the "The House Wife's of Central Florida"? Yeah, we could film outside of a trailer park under the threat of a level three hurricane and one of the ex-wife's of one of those almost famous boy bands could be complaining that her plastic surgeon ripped her off, "these are NOT a full double DD’s"! Almost all of the house wife's of NY have books out. Yes, they are a bit more enterprising than the house wife's of Orange County. The Countess, a real nut case, is publishing a book on etiquette, is she serious? Really, etiquette? And Bethany, my personal favorite, because she is so scrappy, is publishing a book on "Unleashing your inner skinny self". OK. Bethany, note to self. If we big girls had inner skinny self's, do you not think we'd of unleashed them long ago? The problem is Bethany, all our inner skinnyassed self’s have left the building. Yeah, we looked around for a little while and then got bored and hungry and went in to fix ourselves a little snack. But there are countless books out there, how about, "Skinny Bitch in the Kitchen", touting "kick-ass" recipes...or how about this one, Skinny Chicks, what to do when your jeans don't button". OK. Now I hate to break it to these best-selling skinny authors, but every big girl knows how to squeeze into jeans that don't quite fit- standing up. This, we have actually elevated to an art form, in fact; you can actually identify which of us are masters of this trade. It only becomes difficult when you are in a dressing room without the benefit of a bed to lie down on. But, how many times have those skinny girls ever thought, "Well, they don't quite fit now, but once I lie down and suck in really hard, they will be just perfect"?