Found Swag

Well, I am getting ready to become an "Instant" Florida millionaire and if that doesn't pan out, I will have to be patient until Saturday's Power Ball numbers come in. Yes, I know that during these hard economic times throwing away your meager dollars on lottery is a just bad idea, but wait! I haven't told you yet about the prize I found this morning in my dryer.

So, I was looking for my favorite zippy, you know the one that makes me feel just a little more athletic than the rest, yes that's right, the white one. As I pulled it out of the dryer, I heard the sound of money. You know that dry paper-like sound that anyone who has ever found money in a dryer has heard?
Instant recognition is what it sounded like to my poor ears. As I pulled my beloved zippy out, a green folded bill fluttered to the ground. I quickly looked to my left and then to my right and seeing that the coast was clear- I snatched it right up! I couldn't believe my eyes as I slowly opened up the bill, what was it? A ten, a twenty? No folks, it was a newly washed and dried Benjamin- $100 dollars and it was ALL mine! Or was it?

About two weeks ago, my husband said to me while we were lounging in the Jacuzzi, "Hey, I wonder what ever happened to that $150 cash I had in my pocket the other day?" Now you have to understand this, when he asked me this I was about 3/4 of the way through an exceptionally wonderful bottle of red wine and my hoofs were being treated to the underwater jets, so even $150 bucks couldn't really get my attention. I know that is surprising, considering my bleak financial picture right now. But hey, a girl has to have standards and at that very moment I could be had, just not for a buck fifty.
But I did file it away under potential money making schemes of my future:

1. Do some laundry, find me some mullah.

But I guess by the time I dried off and put my heady down, I had completely forgotten all about the windfall that was right under my nose.

But now back to my winnings... I was $100 richer and knowing that there was more gold to be found, I got seriously busy looking for the other $50 bucks. Heck, I even folded an entire load, but nothing else turned up. Because our house rules allow up to $20 bucks found to be "guilt-free", I called my hubby and exclaimed "Oooh-la-la, guess what? I found a little prize this morning in the dryer, la-dee-dah"! Once there was full disclosure, it was all mine! Well almost, I did mention to him something about two great steaks on the grill Friday night, all courtesy of my spoils, but let us not get ahead of ourselves here.

I decided to take my booty or swag, as I like to think of it and play the Florida Lottery. The way I had it figured, it really was "found" money, so why not? But first, I needed a partner, someone that was willing to actually get in their car and go get the tickets, you know, get their hands dirty.
Enter the daughter. We started plotting and planning. We went on the lotto website and looked at past winners. No one wins if they play at the local grocer of this, I am convinced. We decided we needed to go to Circle K, preferably located on the "wrong side" of the town. Yeah, the way I figured it, the poorer the store, the better our chances.


About this time my daughter mentioned something about her increased risk of getting killed at these somewhat seedy locations, but I offered her the stink eye and said, "Look, there are always gonna be risks associated, are you in or out?" As she contemplated the rewards, then agreed, she was in.


But before she left, we started talking about what we'd do with our potential winnings and being the good Catholic that I am, I started to talk about all the poor people I knew and how we'd be able to enrich their lives with our booty. I talked about the Orlando Homeless Coalition and how much good we could do down there.


Suddenly my daughter looked at me and said, "Don't do it." I looked over at her my eyes wide open, "Don't do what?" I asked. She went on to say, "Don't try to trick Him, Mom, He knows". By now we were lying on my bed with our written plan between us and she repeated, "Don't try to trick the Lord into helping you win by saying all the great things you are gonna do with the money. He knows you are trying to trick Him". I was indignant; I really was planning on doing those things. But, I knew she had a point. So, I lifted my hands up and asked for forgiveness and told the Lord right then and there, "Lord, just to give you a little more security that my intentions are pure, I will offer to you a post-dated check, to the charity of choice.


Well, I wrote that check, but it remains uncashed, as there were just too many zeros for my bank account to handle. My daughter survived her visit to the "dark side" and after three Millionaire scratch offs, we are still not millionaires. But I will say this, it was one of the best afternoons I've had in a long time!