24 Hour Protection

Since I was only 12 hours into my new 24 hour bra, I decided to stay at the party a little later than I normally would. It was a "pool" party. Reads, "bring your bathing suit". What I'd like to know is this, who that really knows me would even bother to include that on MY invite? I mean, do they think that I am going come prancing in with my new albeit several months old, Bahamian used bathing suit? Who are they kidding? That whole, "Look 10 pounds thinner deal went down the drain after my third Bahama Mama". For all of you that are planning one of these parties and IF I am on the invite, I just wanna say, no. OK, NO. So when I arrive, don't slip your skinny self up next to me in front of all your party goers and say, "Oh, my gosh, you didn't know it was a pool partee"? "OMG, well maybe we have a suit laying around here, left over from when my next door neighbor's Grammy came to visit, yeah, she was about your size". It is just so not gonna happen. I mean, I need weeks to months to mentally prepare to even think about putting on a bathing suit. Even with my million dollar, sure to please, hold you up and in miracle suite, no. I recently had some friends and family over and told them, "listen, if you want, bring your suit". Now each one of them felt totally free to tell me, "It's not gonna happen". But then I told them my little secret. I control ALL lighting in my swimming area. It is so strategically done that you could stand there bare neked and we'd all say, "You look... mahvelous!," , aka, Fernando Lamas. Seriously. This business of inviting people over and not first doing your job on the lighting aspect, well, it is just not right. People need protection. The people exposing it need to know they are protected and the ones left looking, and believe me you, they will be looking, well they need protection too. So what if that leaves our al fresco dining in somewhat of the dark. Trust me, looking at people in their bathing suits can be a natural appetite inhibitor!