Dear Lady

I am thinking of writing a letter of regret to my cleaning lady. I want her to know how much I regret her not coming to my house any longer. I regret that I ever complained about her putting the towels away while they were slightly damp. I now fully appreciate the "crisp" fold marks that method provides and after a while, you hardly notice the musty smell. I regret ever entertaining the thought that her new hair cut looked like a mullet- for that I am truly sorry. I feel like the broom on the Swifter commercial, "baby come back"... What I didn't know back then was that it is impossible to clean my house, complete 12 loads of laundry, change all the beds and still be in a good mood AND not light your wig on fire. I am sorry that towards the end of her time with us, I started to time her visits, thinking she wasn't putting in the time. And about the time I ran my finger over the top of the baby grand, bitterly complaining about the dust, I was outta line. We have a new cleaning lady now. She is far less competent than our old. In fact, this one is borderline lazy. Believe it or not, my daughter came home one afternoon and found her sleeping! And she helps herself to all our "good food". I had to have my son hide the Cameo cookies from her in the freezer. She is guilty of many transgressions, but the one that is most grating is that she never completely empties the dish washer, leaving us with "perpetual riders" AND if this doesn't top it all- she has attitude! Yeah, it is as if she is somewhat resentful that she has to do HER job! I mean, it is not like she doesn't get paid for it. Er... does she? Some would consider the love and respect of their family as a sort of currency.
Our new cleaning lady well, she somewhat resembles me. " Baby come back, you can blame it all on me. I was wrong, and I just can't live without you!